Protect Scott Walker's Legacy: Rename Wisconsin's Awful Governor

Posted by Patrick James

Scott Walker
Whenever I read Scott Walker news, I momentarily fret that the "Big Louise" singer has relocated to Milwaukee for the purpose of busting unions and killing mass transit. It's a shock to the system to think that Walker could be both so devastatingly lovely—oh, what an incomparable, unfettered croon!—and so just plain devastating. But then I realize that, thank God, these are two different people.

The original Scott Walker is the stage name of Noel Scott Engel, the enigmatic singer and artist whose career dates back to the 1960s; he might be Beck's aesthetic progenitor. The new Scott Walker is the governor of Wisconsin and an enemy of collective bargaining. He is not a style icon.

We need a campaign to save the artist's online legacy, so I propose we re-name the Wisconsin governor. Sure, it might sound crazy to argue prior claim when talking about a stage name, but it's nowhere near as crazy as the action coming out of the governor's office. "Scott Driver" would work, seeing as the Governor so thoroughly detests cars, mass transit, and, um, walking, but it lacks the potency of something like "Crappy Scott Walker," which feels fairly spot-on.

Other suggestions are welcome and encouraged.

And if there was, say, some Joe Stalin with a modest but dedicated musical following in early 20th century Russia, we feel that guy's posthumous pain, too.