Slowpokes Hall of Fame

Posted by GOOD and ReadyMade

gg-18-slowpokesThis article is part of The GOOD (and ReadyMade) Guide to Slowing Down, from GOOD Issue 18. Read more of the guide here.For further proof that faster isn't always better, we bestow honors upon some particularly impressive slugs.Henry David ThoreauThe author of Walden-the back-to-the-land manifesto written to counteract the deadening effects of the Industrial Revolution-is still the patron saint of anyone who wishes life had a pause button. (Ignore the fact that he went home from his cabin on the weekends to have someone else do his laundry.)Three-toed slothThis South American tree dweller is the slowest mammal on earth, with a top land speed of about 0.15 miles per hour.Dr. Alice Bunker StockhamMove over, Sting: This Victorian-era ob-gyn was the original proponent of Karezza, a Tantra-derived sexual technique for delaying orgasm in order to prolong mutual pleasure.W.T. RabeAs a reaction against the running craze of the 1970s, Rabe created World Sauntering Day, still celebrated on June 19 by moseyers and meanderers everywhere.Lloyd ScottHaving already completed marathons wearing an antique diving suit and an Iron Giant costume, Scott broke his own record for slowest marathon finish when, wearing a suit of armor and dragging a 200-pound dragon, he crossed the finish line of the 2006 London race in 8 days, 13 minutes.OdysseusAre we there yet? This Greek hero's legendarily epic journey home from the Trojan War was plagued by shipwrecks, Cyclopes, and-let's face it-a fair bit of dawdling.Helen Hooven SantmyerSantmyer's novel …And Ladies of the Club was published in 1982-more than 50 years after she started writing it. It topped the New York Times best-seller list. Today, there are 2.5 million copies in print.Thuja occidentalisOne specimen of this coniferous tree discovered in Canada's Great Lakes region had reached a whopping height of four inches in 155 years.The Poky Little PuppyThis curious pooch-star of America's best-selling children's book not featuring Harry Potter-has taught generations of kids how to stop and smell the roses. And the lizards, and the caterpillars…Illustration by Tim Lahan